“It wasn’t like this when I was a kid!” I heard this refrain many times as a legislator, usually in response to initiatives to provide sex ed on a more consistent basis, offer menstrual products in school bathrooms, and protect trans kids from harassment and discrimination. This was often followed by, “They’re too young!”
In a sense, the critics are correct – it wasn’t like this in the past. Over the last 100 years, the age of onset of puberty has dropped about 5 years for girls and significantly for boys as well. What used to be considered pathologically early puberty has now become average. Medical opinions on why this is run the gamut from better nutrition to environmental contamination. Whatever the reason, the reality is that kids today must face the challenges of physical maturity earlier than most of us did.
Faced with that reality, the responsible thing to do for me as a legislator was to support initiatives that helped kids deal with this. Some were easy – state law has mandated appropriate sex ed for years, but compliance was low. At my own kids’ school, we found out that sex ed hadn’t been taught appropriately in years, because the teacher responsible “wasn’t comfortable” with the requirements of the law. Similarly, supporting minors’ access to contraception and menstrual products just makes sense in a world where physical maturity comes earlier and earlier.
Some lacked simple answers. How should we address sports participation by trans and non-binary kids? How should teachers communicate to parents about their child’s health issues? What is the role of the state when parents refuse to provide their child with healthcare recommended by their healthcare provider?
I also saw intense opposition to gender-affirming care for minors. A majority of respondents in one poll opposed puberty blockers when the child, parents, and healthcare provider all agreed that they were appropriate. These drugs were largely developed to address issues of precocious puberty and, in the past, rarely draw any sort of public notice at all. (You can find out more information about puberty blockers from the Mayo Clinic.) But now, precocious puberty has become the norm and suddenly the use of common medications to address it is being likened to child abuse.
Letting kids be kids means giving them the time and freedom to figure out who they are for themselves. Kids are facing the challenges of puberty earlier than we ever did. Fortunately, medical science gives them the option of more time if they’re not ready, a decision made by the child, their parents, and their healthcare provider. That isn’t abuse; it’s healthcare. To those who oppose this, I ask, how can you possibly know better than they do?
Too often, this prejudice and lack of appropriate care is fatal. My own cousin, a trans woman, took her own life when faced with rejection by some of her family and difficulty receiving gender affirming care in the conservative state where she lives.
In the face of this tide of hate and intolerance, I am pleased to see how accepting my children are, even when I struggle to be. It saddens me to see parents fight to preserve their own prejudices by communicating them to their children. To me, one of the greatest joys of parenting is seeing my kids grow beyond me and my limitations. I expect that the fight for gender affirming care and trans acceptance will be a long one. Still, my children give me hope that we will eventually give kids the time and freedom to find out who they are for themselves and appreciate them for who they are.
Israel and Palestine
I was pleased to see a temporary cease fire and the exchange of hostages for prisoners last week. The apparently increasing respect for life is heartening. Wars rarely end with a military victory. They most often end because both sides decide the costs of continuing to fight are too high. Far too many civilians have already paid the ultimate price.
Egan Warming Center
Working at Egan Warming Center over the weekend, I noticed how many of our guests lack decent gloves. Please consider donating any extras you may have. You can donate at any St. Vincent de Paul donation site. Volunteer and donation information is available at https://www.svdp.us/services/shelter-assistance/egan-warming-centers/